Biblical Advice on Causing Household Troubles 5/30/2018

dysfunctional family

Proverbs 11:29

Whoever brings ruin to their family will inherit only wind, and the fool will be a servant to the wise.

I’ve never been part of an untroubled household. My family was clearly dysfunctional before that word existed. I used to say my family was ‘broken’ – which highly annoyed my mother. She stressed that, since we were all still together as one family unit, we were ‘whole’. However, even as a ten year–old, I knew that wasn’t so.

My father was a chain-smoker, an alcoholic and a gambler. He was a very intelligent, highly creative man, but never fully realized his potential. Whatever demons he battled kept him from being the good husband and father he should have been. Instead, he was emotionally and physically abusive to my mother. She was codependent and made excuses for his behaviour. I couldn’t understand why she put up with him, but later realized there was nowhere for her to go.

As an adult, I followed the same pattern as my mother. I had relationships with men who were abusive addicts. I stayed in a marriage with one for over two decades because, like my mother, I had nowhere to go.

This is what I now know – if you have ANY unhealthy behaviors, it WILL impact your family, causing chaos for generations. God created the family; it is the core of society, meant to teach and model cooperation and submission to authority. Respect between husband and wife, and parent and child, is paramount to creating a warm, nurturing environment to grow.

Bringing any division or strife, and putting personal needs over family needs, leads to destruction. Such self-centeredness is pure foolishness. Our relationships make us who we are. God never intended us to live in a vacuum. We are first His Child, then a son or daughter, then a spouse, a parent and then a grandparent.

Take stock of your inner life. Do you need to address some behaviors and mindsets that are hindering you from being the best spouse, parent or child you can be? Are you harboring resentments or grudges, or engaging in harmful coping mechanisms?

Ask God for help in recognizing what needs to change within you, and His guidance in leading you to those who can help.

~Delsie Christina

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